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Funny Wedding Vows

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Writing humorous wedding vows can be a nice way to make a happy occasion even happier, as you speak about your love for one another and your hopes for the future.  And while there are many fun ways to do this, you'll want to remember that, at its core, your wedding vow is a promise.  That doesn't mean that it needs to be somber or entirely serious, but it should reflect the magnanimity of the occasion.  That said, here are some tips to keep in mind if you are going to inject your wedding vows with a few good laughs:

  • May we say this? – Before you decide to punch-up your wedding vows, consider whether or not humorous wedding vows are appropriate for the setting of your ceremony. Certain religions may not allow you to alter their approved vows. Be sure to ask your wedding officiant before you take your pen to the paper, and consider showing him your vows in advance of your wedding day.
  • Lest you offend – In the same way that you would not want to offend a religious institution, you also don't want to offend your wedding guests—or more importantly, the person you are about to marry. Do not mock your partner in any way. If you're going to make fun of someone, make fun of yourself. And while it's true that this day is about you and the person you love, you should also consider the feelings of your soon-to-be mother-in-law and your 91 year-old grandfather. Any references to sex will likely be considered tasteless. And try to resist the temptation to be "too funny," lest your wedding vows be perceived entirely as a joke.
  • Don't be tone deaf – Be sure to discuss the tone of your vows with your partner before the ceremony. In doing so, you can design vows that will mirror one another's as closely as possible. You may want to share them with your partner and help each other edit since your wedding day is not an especially good time for surprises. Also, steer clear of inside jokes, as they will likely alienate or confuse your guests.
  • Love is in the details – One of the best ways to add a little fun to your wedding vows is to incorporate unique details about the person you love. Consider your partner's hobbies and interests. At one wedding I recently witnessed, the bride proclaimed that she loved the fact that her groom got as excited when he "found a great bargain at Filene's Basement" as he did when he received his recent promotion at work.
  • Cross your heart – At the heart of every vow is a promise, so you may want to use your wedding as a chance to make some fun promises to one another. He could promise to make you blueberry pancakes on Sundays; you could promise to help him cheer on his alma mater in basketball during March Madness.
  • Common interests – Consider your common interests, and let your vows reflect them. For instance, if you are huge Star Wars fans, you may want to incorporate the phrase, "I am the force that will always be with you." Or, if you share a love for a certain sports team, you might pledge to comfort one another after every losing game.
  • Opposites attract – When writing your vows, consider the lighthearted ways your differences compliment one another—and let your promises reflect the compromises you intend to make in the future. As one celebrity couple said, "I vow to split the difference on the thermostat."
  • Location lookout – If you are getting married in an unusual location, let your vows reflect your distinctive surroundings. For example, if you are exchanging vows on a mountain, you might want to say to your guests that you are so full of love, you want to shout your partner's name from the highest mountaintop—and then do it. Whether you are on top of the Eiffel Tower or on the bottom of the ocean, there is a fun way to bring out the uniqueness of place within your wedding vows.
  • Borrowed quotes – There are several websites that offer humorous wedding vows for the taking—with inspiration ranging from Dr. Seuss ("Will you take her as your wife? Will you love her all your life?") to jabs at gender stereotypes (i.e. she promises to love him "in sickness, in health, and when he wants to buy expensive toys"). There are also a number of fun quotes about marriage, such as this one by Ogden Nash: "To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up."
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