Walt Disney's got an old mouse on his hands, but at least cartoons will never be (rumored as) cryogenically frozen.
Mickey Mouse turned 82 on Thursday, and since he can't have too much say in planning his own birthday bash, we decided to imagine what he would do if he weren't so two-dimensional.
All over-the-hill gags may be lost on the mouse, who hasn't technically aged a bit. Perhaps for this one, Mickey will pass on the dancing geriatric girls.
Then again, mice love nibbling on things, so why not offer guests edible party favors? A large cheese platter is a must, as well as personalized birthday cookies, chocolate bars, and party mint tins with scenes of Mickey's glorified cinematic moments. An obvious pick would be his first-ever film appearance in "Steamboat Willie," dated November 18, 1928, or his first words in 1929's "The Karnival Kid."
He could also commemorate his signature first role as the steamboat captain with sailboat place card holders - or a speedboat, if he's feeling contemporary.