Wedding Invitations & Other Stationery Etiquette
brought to you by Beaucoup Wedding Favors

OVERALL SUMMARY

For every special occasion in life, especially involving your wedding, stationery will help you communicate and share the special moment with your loved ones. Wedding invitations are your friends' and family's first opportunity to participate in the special occasion. Beyond conveying the theme of the occasion, printed wedding invitation stationery also serves a more functional role by communicating important details of the occasion like the directions to the reception, where to stay and what to wear.

Because printed wedding invitation stationery is used to communicate information and convey themes, it is important to understand proper etiquette. We have collected some useful information to help guide you through the process of using social stationery appropriately for your special occasion.

General Stationery Etiquette

If you are like most people, you will waste a lot of time wondering about the proper way to address a female friend of yours who is a doctor, married and has kept her maiden name. When it comes to printed stationery, proper etiquette is very important. We have included some basic guidelines to help you impress your friends and family.

Timing

Save The Date Cards

Save the date cards can vary from formal cards that resemble wedding invitations to informal magnets, postcards or even mint tins. If you prefer electronic mail to mailing out paper invitations, you could also use this method of communication to save on both time and cost.

Naming

Gifts

Although a wedding invitation implies a gift in return, it is considered poor etiquette to mention the names of stores where you are registered on the wedding invitation. Instead, allow your friends to ask you or pass this information along to parents, the bridal party or grandparents who will be happy to inform your guests. Many couples also list their registry information on their wedding website, which is perfectly acceptable. If you do not wish to receive wedding gifts, it is not proper etiquette to print "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. Again, this information should be shared with close friends and family members who will then communicate your wish to your guests. Many couples who do not wish to receive gifts, which is often the case with second-time bride or groom, will provide the name of a charity organization to which wedding guests can contribute in lieu of buying a wedding gift for the couple.

Printing Options

There is a wide range of printing styles to choose from, depending on the formality of your event, your budget and your personal preference. Your options include:

• Engraving: Engraving your invitations is the most traditional and formal printing option you can have. It is the oldest printing style, as well as the most expensive. Engraved invitations have a raised print appearance. It is pressed through the paper so that it can be felt on the back of the paper.
• Thermography: Thermographed wedding invitations are similar to engraved invitations. They both have raised lettering. They differ in that thermographed invitations have a shinier, glossy finish and the print does not press through the back of the paper. Thermography is also a less expensive printing option than engraving.
• Lithography: Lithography, also known as flat print or offset, is the most widely used printing style for wedding invitations. The process involves printing lettering with ink but does not result in a raised or pressed-through appearance. Thus, it is less expensive than both engraving and thermography.
• Laser: Laser printing is the least expensive form of printing. The appearance is similar to that of lithography. This is a cost-effective option for couples who wish to print their own invitations at home using a laser printer. There are many "do it yourself" invitation kits you can buy, allowing you customize and print your own wedding invitations. Laser printing is also provided at professional print shops.
• Handwritten: Although not many couples choose to handwrite their wedding invitations, it is a great option for couples who are having a very small wedding. It is also a wonderful way to add a personal touch to your event. For formal weddings, you may want to consider emplying the service of a professional calligrapher.

• Reception Cards: A reception card is a formal invitation to the wedding reception and is included as a separate insertion when the ceremony and reception are held at different locations. Reception cards are also used when the guest list for the wedding ceremony is larger than that for the reception. Thus, guests who do not receive reception cards are only invited to the ceremony, and not to the reception. The reception card is placed right on top of the wedding invitation. Many couples put a piece of tissue paper in between the wedding invitation and reception card. The tissue paper used to serve a function - to keep the oils from the ink on engraved invitations from smudging. With improved printing techniques, there is no need for this extra layer but many couples continue to include the tissue paper as part of the wedding invitation.
• Response Cards: Response cards allow your guests to communicate to you whether they will be able to attend your wedding. Some couples also use response cards to ask their guests for their meal preferences. The response card is placed on top of the reception card and is often printed in the same type style and design as the wedding invitation on card stock. A return envelope with your address printed is included with the response card. It is proper etiquette to place a stamp on the return envelope. Wedding response cards typically have a blank line at the top preceded by the letter "M," indicating the space for your guests to write their title (Mr. or Mrs.) followed by their names. Your guests will either place a check after the word "accepts" or "regrets" to indicate whether they will be able to attend the reception. If there are dinner options you should also have a place for people to check their meal preference. A date by which your guest is asked to return the response card is noted at the bottom of the response card. A great time-saving tip is to assign a number next to each name on your guest list and then pencil in corresponding numbers on the back of the response cards. When you receive back a response card that is left blank or contains illegible handwriting, you can figure out exactly who sent the response card by matching the number on the back of the response card with those on your guest list.
• Maps and Directions Card: Although not necessary, it is a good idea to insert a map or a directions card to the ceremony and reception sites. This is especially important if you are having many out of town guests who are not familiar with the location of your wedding sites. Make sure that your directions are accurate and concise prior to sending.
• Travel Card: For destination weddings, or when many of your guests are traveling to attend your wedding, it is important to include travel information for the convenience of your guests. Include detailedinformation on nearby airports, ground transportation, lodging options and local attractions.

When two envelopes are used, all of the enclosures described above are inserted in the inner envelope, facing the back of the envelope. The innner envelope is then placed, unsealed, in the outer envelope, with the flap away from the person assembling the invitation.

Although not required, most traditional invitations consist of an inner envelope and an outer envelope. The outer envelope is addressed and stamped while the inner envelope only has the names of those who are invited to the wedding. For example, the inner envelope of a married couple is addressed "Mr. and Mrs. Riley", with neither the first names nor the address appearing on the envelope. The inner envelope also allows you to be very specific as to whom is invited to the wedding. It is a great way to communicate to your friend whether she or he is welcome to bring a guest. When a guest is invited but his or her name is unknown, it is proper etiquette to only address the outer envelope to your friend "Miss Kennedy" and address the inner envelope to your friend and her guest "Miss Kennedy and Guest". If the inner envelope is addressed to only "Miss Kennedy", it should be clear to your friend that she should not bring a guest. It is appropriate to address your friends and famly in informal or familial terms on the inner envelope. This is a great way to add a personal touch to your invitation.

No abbreviations with the exception of non-professional titles (Mr., Mrs., Jr., etc.) should be used when addressing names on the envelopes. Professional titles such as Doctor should be spelled out. Avoid using symbols for the word "and."

When addressing a married couple, you should always address both members of the married couple, even though the couple may only know one or knows that only one will attend.

When addressing an unmarried couple living together, the etiquette is to address each party individually, with each name appearing on a separately line. Example: "Ms. Linda Fisher and Mr. David Peterson."

All house numbers are written in numeral form except for "one," which is spelled out. Apartment, suite, and zip codes are written in numeral form. Avoid using state abbreviations..

Cities, states and numbered streets are written out in full (with the exception of D.C.). Avoid abbreviating the common words like "Street," "Boulevard," "Avenue." The only optional abbreviations are for Saint (St.) or Mount (Mt.), which can be written either way.

Return addresses should be printed on the back flap of the envelope and be centered and in the same color ink that you are using for the wedding invitation. Name or names are excluded from the return address.